“I have to stay off Facebook for now” -Some of My Thoughts & Feelings the day Kobe Bryant Died

Warning: Raw words and F-bombs ahead [Note: I wrote this the day Kobe Bryant died with no intention of publishing it ever. I wrote it to process some of the emotions I was feeling after I found out. I didn’t even know his daughter was with him at the time I wrote this. These wordsContinue reading ““I have to stay off Facebook for now” -Some of My Thoughts & Feelings the day Kobe Bryant Died”

They Planted New Trees

Four small pine trees in line with the rest of the giant ones at that spot. Four signs that the majority of the world has moved forward and the world is still turning. Trees. That’s all they are. Something to look pretty and shield the neighborhood from the busy street that lines it. I don’tContinue reading “They Planted New Trees”

People Don’t Get It

I’ve been speaking with another widow lately and one thing we both agree on is people don’t get it. People do not and cannot understand what the grieving process is like for anyone. I am thankful so many people don’t get it because that means they have not experienced a great loss in their life,Continue reading “People Don’t Get It”

I Know You’re Busy, But…

You used to visit me in my dreams sometimes. You don’t anymore. Most days I’m ok. Better than ok actually, I am doing really, really well. I am happy. I think that would make you happy too. Today, I am heavy. Heavy in the feeling you aren’t here. Like, how did this even happen? HowContinue reading “I Know You’re Busy, But…”

Grief and the Holidays: What I’ve Noticed So Far

I can’t help but feel I’m doing this wrong. Jack just asked me what his brothers’ “big gifts” this year are and I had to explain to him I didn’t do anything crazy expensive or awesome, I just picked something I got them to spotlight. I almost burst into tears. “That’s ok. That’s totally fine,”Continue reading “Grief and the Holidays: What I’ve Noticed So Far”

Things You Should Know about My Trauma from the Death of My Husband

Crazy title, I know, but I didn’t really know what else to title it. Things you should know? Reasons I am the way I am? Well, when it comes to this subject and grief, there are so many things I wish so many people knew or would know or could comprehend, but that is like,Continue reading “Things You Should Know about My Trauma from the Death of My Husband”