I Hate That…

I hate that you left us.

I hate that you’re gone.

I hate missing you.

I hate the parts that made me excited every single day to see you.

I hate that I remember it all.

I hate that I miss you.

Tonight was a mother f*%^ing sh*tshow.

Like, seriously….WHAT. THE. F^&K??!??!?

I hate that you aren’t here to help.

I hate that you aren’t here to be the patient one.

I hate that you aren’t here to put them in their place.

I hate that you aren’t here to tell them how Proud you are of them.

I hate that you aren’t here to tuck them in.

I hate that I always have to hold my breath at the perfect times to recite the “West Philadelphia song” correctly every night by myself.

I hate that you aren’t here to finish this season of The Walking Dead with me.

I hate that you never got to see Endgame.

I (kind of) even hate Star Wars now.

I hate that we have to play the “what if” game to imagine what life would be now.

I hate that I have no choice.

I hate that I never stop crying.

I hate feeling so overwhelmed all the time.

I hate that I forget what it’s like for our boys to have a dad.

I hate that you left.

I hate that you’re gone.

I hate that you will never be back.

I Love You.

MAKE GOOD CHOICES.

~Love & Light, Sarah