DUALITY — When 2 opposite things can be true at the exact same time.

I spent a good portion of this evening talking to my youngest about duality. Having to explain to a 7 year old that this will always and forever be his reality is HARD.

For many with a great loss, duality is true.

You will always be sad, mad, upset, (insert emotion/feeling here) about the loss of your loved one. That doesn’t mean you can never be happy or any other emotion/feeling too. That means, you will forever live in duality.

“Yay, it’s my birthday!…I miss my dad.”

“It’s my wedding day! …I wish my dad were here.”

“I got a home run!!! …I wish dad were here to see it.”

Sometimes one emotion will be BIG and the other so small.

Sometimes they will be equal emotions.

You cannot control it.

It is a reality you must come to live with.

This is OK.

This is Completely Acceptable.

This is Normal.

This is Grief.

Once you realize and come to terms with your reality, it does get a smidgen easier. It’s not EaSy, but knowing helps.

So when someone who has a great loss is HaPPy, let them be HaPPy.

No, they have not forgotten their loved one. They never will. Not even for a minute, but our loved ones want us to be happy. Wherever they are, they are rooting for us to live happy lives. Healthy lives.

It’s no different than if they were here.

That’s all they ever wanted, so we may as well oblige.

Be Kind.

Be Graceful.

Be HaPPy.


~Love & Light, Sarah

Published by SarahV

Life blog about me aiming to help anyone I can. I am 34, a mother of 3 boys, a widow, a lover, a peace seeker, a Soulrocker, an Auburn fan (War Eagle), a Yankees & Packers fan, a free spirit, an adventurer & so many other things. Some say I also have hippie tendencies. I hope I can spread love & light & help anyone who may find themselves in a situation I have been in before or am in now. I am always trying to better myself & follow my HeArT.

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