Don’t get me wrong, I thought about apologizing for the state of my house like, 57 times, but each time, I decided not to.
I had a super clean house for a LoNg time. For over a year, my house was basically spotless. I loved it, but it was exhausting to keep up. I loved not having to stress if someone wanted to come over. I loved not having to play “find that smell” because I cleaned everything EVERY. DAY.
Cleaning was part of my grieving process & how I chose to cope with things. I still clean daily to feel the illusion of being in control & I “Super Clean” when I feel out of control, mad, or sad.
It wasn’t until I fell out of the habit of super cleaning all the time that I realized what I had been doing. It worked for me. Some days I wish I had never fallen out of that habit, but most days I’m happy I did.
It means I starting actually living life & enjoying it more. It means I got over the hump where I could never cope & went somewhere else in my grieving process.
Regardless of why I cleaned so much—-
The fact that we all feel the need to apologize because there is stuff strewn around or our floors aren’t freshly mopped is INSANE.
We need to do better for each other. We need to put ourselves around people that won’t care if they have to move bags, toys, or clothes to sit down. We need to DO BETTER.
I don’t know how we get to the point where we don’t feel we need to explain our “mess”, but we need to figure it out together.
Next time you have company coming over, don’t apologize. There is nothing wrong with not having done the dishes or not having mopped your floor today.
Let’s start there & see how things go.
MAKE GOOD CHOICES.
~Love & Light, Sarah