I was recently shocked by something my brother said to me. Being shocked by things that come out of his mouth is nothing new for me as much as I am positive he is shocked by plenty of things that come out of mine, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. So, of course, I am now writing about it as I typically do.
The other day while sitting at dinner with my brother’s family, we started talking about different types of jobs. The job of serving at a restaurant came up and my brother said it may not be good for certain people who “don’t like people.” I replied, “I hate people, but serving is different.” (I don’t actually hate people, in fact, I love all people, but A LOT of the general public annoys me)
My brother immediately said, “No. Ever since we were little kids you have talked to anyone and everyone everywhere you went. You have always been a social butterfly.”
This statement stopped me in my tracks. I genuinely had nothing to say because I have never thought of myself this way.
Isn’t it so interesting how you can think of yourself as an entirely different person than how others view you? There are so many versions of you floating out in the world. As many as the number of people you’ve encountered your whole life. Not one person has the exact same version of you in their head as another. So much for people pleasing.
I do remember talking to a lot of people and I also remember being called outgoing a lot. As I grew older, my outgoing personality was suppressed by society. I was told to be quiet, not talk so much, watch what I say around who because of what they might think, etc. I decided I needed to conform, so I slowly went into myself. It’s not that I was completely not myself and never talked to people. More like, I waited for permission. Assessed the situation before I decided whether or not I should speak my mind.
I developed a case of social anxiety and regular, good old fashioned anxiety. I would at times still talk “too much” and I would lie awake in bed at night because of it. Replaying every single conversation in my head. Every word I said. Thinking of all the ways someone could have interpreted my words and judge me for them.
Adulthood only made things worse. A job I was at for a little over 5 years left me unable to speak my mind or give any opinions for fear of losing said job or having a frustrating conversation in which, even if the other person decided I was right, I would always be told I was wrong. I retreated inward more. I completely stopped speaking my mind, not only at work, but in other aspects of my life as well. The only times I spoke up were for my children or when urged by my late husband to stand up for myself.
After Jess died, I decided life is too short to be anything but happy in your life no matter how scary change can be. I found a new job and started to be unapologetically me. I now Do talk to almost anyone everywhere I go. Friendly conversation at the checkout lane, other people pumping gas or waiting in line, & so forth. I do this now because I want to spread love and light in the world. I do it unafraid of what others may think of me doing it and I no longer lose sleep at night replaying conversations in my head.
It is ImPoSSiBle to please everyone.
Every person you interact with you has a different perception of you. There is no fathomable way you can leave every person 100% happy with what you say and do. They will each interpret what you say and do with whatever lense they have on for that day along with their preconceived notions of who you are.
Like my brother. He has a perception that I am and always have been a social butterfly. That I am outspoken and unafraid to speak with anyone no matter what. Nowadays, he’s not wrong, but I have not always been this comfortable with who I am.
I’m not saying “Do and say whatever you want without thinking of others or the consequences.”
I am saying to decide what you want to put out into the world and do it unapologetically. I believe all people have good in them and at their core, all people want to make a positive difference for others and in the world. Don’t be afraid of sharing your positivity, your passion, your growth journey, and your true self with everyone. It’s easy to summarize what you want. I think you should go a step further and create a mission statement for your life. Put into words what you want to put into the world and what you want to get out of it. If you want money, put that in there. If you want a family, put that in there. If you want to be famous, put that in there. Also add in what changes you want to make in the world. Whether or not they are local changes to your immediate influence or much larger changes in a sphere of influence you want to have in the future doesn’t matter right now. Put it in there.
Here are some examples of some statements I have developed for myself:
“To spread Love, Light, and Happiness throughout the world using my sphere of influence as a person, speaker, and writer.”
“To be honest, open, and transparent about my life and my struggles in order to help over 1 million people with theirs.”
“To always remember – I am Sunshine. I am Light. I am Fireworks & Running through the field barefoot. I am Outward & Hugs & People & Laughter. To enjoy the Hell out of Life.”
Clearly, my sphere of influence right now is not close to one million people, but I put that in there because one day it will be. I don’t wish to be famous, but a large sphere of influence is necessary if one wishes to change the world. I wish to make the world a better place and help others be their best selves and find true happiness and peace. I was recently reminded of my third statement by a lifelong best friend, really one of my soulmates in life (thanks, Kristy), and I found it such a great reminder, I decided to make it part of my mission to never forget who I truly am and who I always have been.
No matter how others view you, No matter their perception of you, If you have PuRe InTeNt and come from a GooD PlaCe, you will have nothing to apologize for.
Figure out your mission. (Sooner than later is Best)
Write Down your Mission. Read it. Repeat it. Live it.
Be a GooD Human.
Remember: Your Perception is Your Reality
MAKE GOOD CHOICES.
~Love & Light, Sarah