I was talking to a friend last night and she said something that resonated with me. Not a good kind of resonating, but a stinging one. It has stayed with me all day today and as I think about it, I think we should talk about it. My friend said:
“I hate giving advice because I never take my own advice.”
I feel like a lot of people do this. We can look into a situation we are not in and assess it logically enough to determine what the right thing to do is for a person. Sometimes you can’t, but normally you can. It’s completely different when you’re in that situation. In certain situations, you can’t even step back far enough to realize what is wrong or right and in others you can determine something isn’t right, maybe even what that thing is, but you can’t get yourself to do or say the thing you should.
Why is this a thing?
Why can we not do what is clearly in our own best interest?
Often we are hesitant to say anything about the issue because we are afraid of change. If we say something, then it is out there. You can’t un-say things. If you say something or do something different, you are risking the reactions of others. Chances are they may not react the way you would want them to and that will cause strife in your life. For some, Control is the issue. If we keep it to ourselves, we feel we can control it better than if we put it out there for others. You can only control what you say or do, not others. Change also takes effort and hard work. When someone has a crappy job situation, they’re usually more comfortable with staying in the job and complaining about it than looking for a new one or making the effort to get another.
There have been plenty of times in my life when I was in a situation that needed to change, but the fear of the unknown change that was bound to occur was too much for me to do anything. Sure, I wasn’t happy in my current situation, but I wasn’t always unhappy either. Things were okay. At least I knew on a day-to-day basis what to generally expect and I had the ways I used to deal with things. I also feared losing loved ones. If I made public my thoughts or feelings, they may not agree and they could decide I’m not worth the effort anymore. As I look back on these situations, I realize I was super unhappy and stayed Much Longer in them than I ever should. Most of them, I didn’t know were bad or as bad as I thought at the time. Hindsight is 20/20, right?
I think the worst reason I didn’t always face my issues head on was because it’s hard. I takes a lot of effort. Plain and simple, I chose to be lazy. Talking about issues and thinking them through is tiring. I am positive my mind, the way it works and the anxiety I can create out of almost nothing, also had a large part in my not wanting to deal with things. What changed when I chose to do nothing? Drum roll please….NOTHING! So, at the end of the day, I was left with only the choice to complain about my issue and live in the situation I chose to not do anything about. All the anxiety and mental exhaustion aside…
I have NEVER decided to do the Right Thing or deal with something and Regretted it.
Here’s the thing…And this is SO IMPORTANT — You’re Gonna Die. Yup, you are. We all are. When? I don’t know and neither do you. So, let me ask you this:
Will it be worth it when you die?
Will you be happy with the choices you Did or Did Not make when you die?
Seriously, y’all. I don’t say this lightly. I feel Very passionately about this. None of us know when our time on this earth is going to end. What if you considered that with every choice you have to make? Would that change the way you think about things or deal with things? I know it is So Incredibly Hard to comprehend the gravity of what I am saying. Most people I know who are passionate about this have, unfortunately, had a tragedy lead them to this mindset. I know a lot more successful people than me are already preaching this message to the masses, but you know what? IT BEARS REPEATING!!! So many people say things like “Life is short” but don’t truly feel it. Let me tell you, whether you live to 30, 50 or 109 years old, Life Is Short and it is too short to be anything other than Happy.
First things first, GET YOURSELF OUT OF THAT TOXIC SITUATION!!!
Whatever situation or relationship you find yourself in today that gives you the ickies. Whatever that may be, Decide to do something different to change it TODAY. Whether it is your job, your intimate relationship, your parents, your siblings, your lifelong friends, your housing situation, You CAN Change it. You might not be able to change it completely today, but you can change it and make it better. Decide today that you will. After you are completely decided to make a change, start to think of how and why. If you are so deep in it you cannot see a way out, ASK FOR HELP. Ask anyone. This is good to do even if you think you know what to do because someone else might have a completely stellar idea you may never have thought of yourself. Also, now you have someone to hold you accountable to the actions you are committing to taking. write down what you are going to do and how you are going to do it. Then, and this is the most important step of this process….TAKE ACTION! You may not be able to do everything right away, but I promise you if you constantly tell yourself you will get the thing or remove yourself from toxicity and you take a step Every Single Day towards your goal, you will achieve it.
NEXT — Find what you LoVe and Do That!
I can’t express how deeply I feel this thought as well. This is also a very long process for some, finding what you love to do, but once you do it, it is So Worth It. Getting up every day and actually doing the things that make your Soul Smile is worth every little bit of work you have to put into finding what that thing is. On my worst days, the days where I am blah or grieving hard or life is just really chaotic and overwhelming, I don’t always want to write, but I do anyways. I don’t always want to read the book I am currently reading, but I do that too. Why? Because I know these are huge parts of what makes me tick.
I was watching a live Instagram from Amy Brown (Bobby Bones Show) and her and her sister were saying they read somewhere if you don’t know what you want to do in life or what your passion is, think back to when you were 9-11-ish years old. What did you enjoy then? You may think this is silly, but this really works. I had to go way back in my memories to figure out what I loved and what works for me. You must think back to before “life” got in your way. Before you had any real responsibilities to worry about. What have you always liked? When I did this, I also remembered other things that used to make me happy and started incorporating them back into my life. Unicorns, Rainbows, Bacon. I am now surrounded by things that make me smile 🙂
We are each put on this earth with unique talents that No One Else possesses! Sure, there may be other singers, writers, wrestlers, managers, personal trainers, and horse riders out there, but not a one of them will deliver your talents like you will. Wouldn’t it be such a shame to get to the end and not have shared that with the world?!
“Imagine being on your death bed, and standing around you is the ghost of the dreams, the ideas, the abilities, the talents given to you by life..That you for whatever reason, you never went after that dream. You never acted on those ideas. You never used them talents. You never used those gifts; and there they are standing beside your bed, looking at YOU with large, angry eyes saying we came to you and only you could have given us life!.. And now..we must die with you forever. “~Les Brown
Lastly, Live your Best Damn Life!
I firmly believe we all deserve to be Happy. I firmly believe we all possess Goodness. I firmly believe we all Can live the Best life; The life we are intended to live on this earth. It takes time and effort. It takes sacrifice. It takes real, raw honesty and emotion. It is the best thing you can do for yourself.
You’re going to die one day.
Take your own advice.
Take the Time.
Live your BeSt Life!
MAKE GOOD CHOICES.
~Love & Light, Sarah