I am thankful for everything we have. Everything. I am grateful for all of it and I thank God and the universe daily for all of my blessings.
But this post isn’t about that. This post is about to get real. It may sound privileged and whiny to some, but I do not care. Don’t read it if you don’t want to hear me complain. My feelings and thoughts are valid even if you don’t understand.
I don’t often have these negative, angry thoughts, but I did today. I never dwell in them because that never leads to anything good, but today, I thought I need to stew for a minute. This helps me process. You have to feel the emotion to process it and let it flow through and out. So, this is me processing.
FUCK YOU, COVID 19.
FUCK YOU WHOEVER DID THIS. FUCK THE BAT. FUCK THE MARKET. FUCK EVERYONE INVOLVED.
Do you even KNOW what the fuck me and my kids have been through in the past year and a half?!? Did you even take that into consideration before introducing yourself to the world and wrecking any sense of normalcy we had left?!
Me and my kids went through pure hell last February. We had our normal switched up on us with no notice. Our entire world changed and we have had to completely rebuild a new normal life. We had LITERALLY just gotten to a spot where we had a groove, dude! We had a system for getting homework done, we had wrestling that my two littles were so into and it was so good for them, Jack had just gotten a part in the school play – a passion of his, my personal and work life were ThRiViNg. WHY DID THIS HAPPEN NOW????
Considering Covid 19 is something that has never happened before (or anything like it), WHY, oh, WHY did this have to happen NOW????
There would never be a good time for this to happen, but this seriously was a horrible one. This could have happened when I had a husband to help me with the house, the kids, etc. This could have happened in 5 years when our new normal was more normal and we had been in our groove for a long amount of time. All my kids want is normalcy and structure. That has all gone out the window.
“Why don’t you create structure and normalcy at your house, Sarah?” <–To anyone thinking this, you do it. Come over to my house, spend a week or two and work your magic. If you aren’t willing to do that for us, then Mind Your Business.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain the few relationships I have now that we can’t see each other and do things? Do you know how important the Sunday dinners with my family were to my kids’ mental and emotional health? Do you know that not everyone was born to teach their own kids stuff and that is why God created magnificent creatures called teachers?!
This isn’t fair. No. It’s not right at all. How could you, Covid?? I HATE YOU!!!!
At least we have the entire world in crisis with us now. Nope, somehow that makes it no better and 1,000 times worse. This sucks. This summer was going to be so fun and you, Covid, ruined it. You suck.
Ok, now I’m gonna have to go meditate and make a list of things I am grateful for 🙂
MAKE GOOD CHOICES.
~Love & Light, Sarah