When did I lose my sense of “I am bound for greatness” and how did I get it back? This is the question that has been distracting me all day.
My sense that I am bound for greatness (in one way or the other) has always been with me. Not taught to me necessarily or ingrained in me by anyone. Just there. Identical to the sense that I have always had that there is a God and He is worth worshiping and He does everything for a reason. I call these “senses” because they are to me. They are just like my sense of touch, taste, etc..they are a part of me.
These two things I have known ever sense I can remember and probably before that. But somewhere along the way, I lost the “I am bound for greatness” sense for awhile. I believe it all started right before I got pregnant. At that point, I was only living life to have fun for the moment and get drunk. Then I got pregnant and had my son, Jack. Best thing by far that has ever happened to me. After Jack’s birth, I started to live my life for him. But if you think about it, part of “living your life for your child” is so you don’t feel like a failure. So really, I was still only living my life for me. After Jack, I got a new job and a new close friend who is very self-absorbed. No offense, I love her to death, but she is. I started to live this way as well. Then came the wedding. Obviously, a wedding is one of the premiere self-absorbed events in a woman’s life. My life became more and more about me and my wants than anyone else’s.
How did I get it back?….that’s a tougher question to answer. Throughout the past 5 years I have had a sense I need to help people and do great things, but I never really cared, I guess. That’s all I can figure out. All of a sudden, I started to hear dozens of people say, “Live your dreams” & “Life is so short”. I’m sure people didn’t just start saying this more often, God must have tuned me in so I could actually hear it. I need to live my life for others. That is what I am here for. Whether it be making people happy through some sort of entertainment (acting, film-making, writing) or volunteering or working for a non-profit, this is why I’m here.
Of course I want Jack to have a very wonderful and successful life. But how much better could his life be if he is led by me to love & trust in God and help others with your talents & abilities. I believe this is the best way to raise your children. (Just my opinion).
As I’ve said before, I haven’t even come close to working out the details, but just knowing these facts (to me they are fact) gives one a certain piece of mind. It does me anyways!
I just feel compelled to tell others. Even if you aren’t exactly where you want to be in life right now, it doesn’t mean you can’t get there. I have often felt “stuck” in my current situation, but if you are passionate about something, never give up. If you feel compelled to do something or make a statement, do it or say it without worrying about what others may say or think.
That’s all for now.
Just a few “words of wisdom” from a not-so-wise gal!!